I’m having a really weird week here, so I’m jumping in and being really lazy about it all.

1. Who sang “Is This a Kind of Magic?” – I did, because my life must be filled with some kind of crazy shit that can only be explained by magic, and probably the dark kind.
2. Who sang “Somebody’s Watching Me?” – God, or whatever creature that’s lurking up there, keeping tabs on me.
3. Why do we blow out birthday candles? – Because fires are really unnecessary.
4. Why do we associate red and green with Christmas? – Because Magenta and black and white is reserved for weddings.
5. What do Little Elves supposedly cause? – True happiness.
6. Why do some people hold their breath when passing near a cemetery? Because that’s where all the smokers lurk.
7. Why is finding a penny considered good luck? – Because finding a million dollars is really hard.
8. Why should we not rock an empty rocking chair? – It shocks the people believing in ghosts too much.
9. Why do people hang Dreamcatchers? – To catch all the online trolls.
10. Why is flipping a loaf of bread unlucky in France? – Because dropping a piece of bread on the ground is just a shitty thing to do with all that bacteria.