The weeks fly by, but I’ve said that before, right? Anywho… Let’s begin!

1. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right. – Every mother in law in the universe.
2. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. – and that’s why sleep is your friend.
3. My diet plan: make all of my friends cupcakes, the fatter they get, the thinner I look. – It’s a shame, though that I eat the batter before they’re properly baked.
4. My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, it makes me cry. – Yep.
5. You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example. – Or perhaps a chocolate bar that tasted like magic.
6. Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands. – And so does candy. And Potato chips. And soda. And churros.
7. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. – That’s why I’m so awesome 😎.
8. My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch. – Best served with a gallon of garlic sauce.
9. Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door. – Or been unemployed for like forever.
10. I don’t sweat, I sparkle. – And it smells like pineapple!